"malam tadi mak mimpi mase ko kecik2, time umur 2-3 tahun gitu"
"erm.." [try being concern]
"perasan mak, ade apip jugak. Dia pun kecik juga"
"eh ape kes kitorg sebaya? haha"
"hah tula. Pastu ko datang kt mak, tunjuk tangan ko ade kudis2"
"ngeeee...maybe sebab ni kot mak.."
[try to remind Mak tentang lenganku yg berkudis sejak mandi di Sg Gabai]
"mak geram ko la.. comel~ tembam lak tu, terase nak peluk2"
then Mak terdiam, dia cam sayu.. I was wonder, the kid in her dream is me.. She is me!! She's not dead yet to be sad for.. hehe
.: she is whom Mak rindu :.
That morning, I've been waken.. The weather was so cold which tell me that I am not ready to wake up this soon. Then, I close my eyes again and makes the dream come into me. For the second times, I open my eyes and I already being dress, and the miracle part is.. I have my shower done.
Abah hold my hand and we walked the path together. The journey was too long. I had no idea where are we heading to. I cant talk properly, so obviously I can't ask Abah to turn back home. All I can see is just a greeny scene. And we walked through a walkover where there was a railway below it. Its like Abah sending me to the Beast like in the "Beauty and the Beast" fairytale story. Then, Abah looked at me and smiled. A very suspicious kind of look. I turn left and right to remember the path in case I being left alone in somewhere nearer. On my left side, there was a horror-death-tomb-kind of place with so many stone around it.
Then we stopped at the nearer somehow like a house or I might called it now as a Kindergarten. We queue at the front door. Just near to me there was a big-scary-kind-of-friendly doggie. I shake my Abah's hand which 24/7 holding me. Abah looked at me and I showed him the doing-nothing-act-like-cute doggie. Abah push me to the other side. After a while, we finally inside the kindergarten and I sit alone at this yellow-small-cute chair while looked at my Abah in case he run away. Abah was trying to registered me into this kind-of-scary-place and he spoke with the one of the specky-blonde-with-nice-smile teacher.
"She dont like to talk. She's very quiet. Please make her talk."
"Ok. Dont worry that..", the teacher looked at me with a smile.
I don't remember when Abah left. I guess the teacher was really good in making me busy without even notice that Abah already gone. I looked left and right. They all looked so weirdo. Jumping there and jumping here. Screaming out and screaming in. They all looked so enjoying. But not for me. Its a very uncomfortable environment for me. I don't like noise. I don't like people. I am myself in my own world and my own adventure searching for something I love.
I don't know how to talked but thankfully I manage to understand them. But the miracle part is.. no matter what language they spoken, I do understand it.
"Fiza~", the specky-blonde-with-nice-smile teacher calling my name. And I looked at her as she sit beside me in a very friendly way. We make one group of 5 people. I don't move but they come to me.
"Do you want to make a penguin by using this toiler-paper-roll?", she asked me while showing the paper-toiler-roll to me. I guess no matter what she showing me, I don't give it a damn. I wish I could asked her, "What the hell is that roll?", "What is a penguin?", "Why am I doing here??", but I just can't. And she showed me the complete penguin-toilet-paper-roll. I looked at her with a how-difficult-to-do-the-penguin-with-paper-toilet-roll face and hopefully she understand me.
"Nevermind. I show you first.", she do the cut, glued and colour it as I watched her with a fully concentration and interested.
"Tadaaaa~ Its for you.", she handed me the straight-body-cut penguin and I smiled.
I kept the penguin in my drawer. Each of the student been given a drawer where we keep our belonging and whatever art we done, we stored it there. Well, we cannot bring it home until the end of the year.
The next day, I learned to draw with a watercolour. I love drawing. We been given a drawing board and a drawing apron. I drew a double-storey house with a nice blue car in front it, an apple tree beside it and a happy stick-people family with a cloud above and a bunch of bird flying around. I smiled and happy with my drawing. I can't wait to bring it home to showed to Abah and Mak. Suddenly, there were this one cunning-black-hair little girl come to me.
"I want this drawing..", obviously she pointed it to my drawing. I looked at her with a this-is-my-drawing face and she went away.
I do feel insecure of my own drawing. So, as far as I remembered, I wrote my name behind the drawing. But now I am curious whether during that time can I even spell my own name?
During the break time, we been given two damn-delicious-nice biscuits and a glass of milk. I don't drink milk. I means, Mak always give me a chocolate-color drink and for me, the white drink doesn't have any taste. So, during the break time, I just took the biscuits and left the milk. And one fine day, Falik realize about my dont-drink-milk behaviour. And he who's sat in front of me at the dining table, come across the table to sit beside me.
"Kau tak minum susu ni ek?", he asked me.
I shook my head.
"Kalau camtu, aku minum hari-hari boleh?", he asked me with a hope.
I nodded and finished off my biscuits before he asked about it.
I don't know how I went through for the whole year at the Kindergarten but its end of the year already. All the student just sit and played while waiting for their parent to take them off. I sit in a corner while watching all student and their parent past by. I waited for mine patiently. I just can't wait to show Mak and Abah all of my creative creation.
Then, I saw the cunning-black-hair little girl which asking for my drawing. Her parent was there to take her home. She make a satisfied-girly smiled at me. As I studied her satisfied-girly-smile-kind of behaviour, I saw my drawing in her hand. I know very well it is my drawing. I make a shock face to her and now she makes more of her satisfied-bitch-killing smile to me and she went home. I just stood still without even dare to move to get back my precious.
After a long wait, Abah come to pick me home. I went to my drawer and took all my stuff. And obviously, I lost my precious drawing. We heading home and Mak greet me as she never seen me before. She looked happy, maybe because I bought so many my-own-art creation home but she never know that I lost one. I tried to explain to them.
"There's a girl in school.. she stole my drawing.. I know she want my drawing crazily.. but i just couldn't get the picture because she had her father with her, while I am all alone by myself.. bla bla bla bla..", I explain to Abah and Mak but they don't understand me because I spoke my own language.
.: from left - Falik, me and wanie :.
.: A family without the last.. a red polka-dot? nice huh? :.
"erm.." [try being concern]
"perasan mak, ade apip jugak. Dia pun kecik juga"
"eh ape kes kitorg sebaya? haha"
"hah tula. Pastu ko datang kt mak, tunjuk tangan ko ade kudis2"
"ngeeee...maybe sebab ni kot mak.."
[try to remind Mak tentang lenganku yg berkudis sejak mandi di Sg Gabai]
"mak geram ko la.. comel~ tembam lak tu, terase nak peluk2"
then Mak terdiam, dia cam sayu.. I was wonder, the kid in her dream is me.. She is me!! She's not dead yet to be sad for.. hehe
.: she is whom Mak rindu :.
----- title of story: " This is the only thing I remembered " -----
That morning, I've been waken.. The weather was so cold which tell me that I am not ready to wake up this soon. Then, I close my eyes again and makes the dream come into me. For the second times, I open my eyes and I already being dress, and the miracle part is.. I have my shower done.
Abah hold my hand and we walked the path together. The journey was too long. I had no idea where are we heading to. I cant talk properly, so obviously I can't ask Abah to turn back home. All I can see is just a greeny scene. And we walked through a walkover where there was a railway below it. Its like Abah sending me to the Beast like in the "Beauty and the Beast" fairytale story. Then, Abah looked at me and smiled. A very suspicious kind of look. I turn left and right to remember the path in case I being left alone in somewhere nearer. On my left side, there was a horror-death-tomb-kind of place with so many stone around it.
Then we stopped at the nearer somehow like a house or I might called it now as a Kindergarten. We queue at the front door. Just near to me there was a big-scary-kind-of-friendly doggie. I shake my Abah's hand which 24/7 holding me. Abah looked at me and I showed him the doing-nothing-act-like-cute doggie. Abah push me to the other side. After a while, we finally inside the kindergarten and I sit alone at this yellow-small-cute chair while looked at my Abah in case he run away. Abah was trying to registered me into this kind-of-scary-place and he spoke with the one of the specky-blonde-with-nice-smile teacher.
"She dont like to talk. She's very quiet. Please make her talk."
"Ok. Dont worry that..", the teacher looked at me with a smile.
I don't remember when Abah left. I guess the teacher was really good in making me busy without even notice that Abah already gone. I looked left and right. They all looked so weirdo. Jumping there and jumping here. Screaming out and screaming in. They all looked so enjoying. But not for me. Its a very uncomfortable environment for me. I don't like noise. I don't like people. I am myself in my own world and my own adventure searching for something I love.
I don't know how to talked but thankfully I manage to understand them. But the miracle part is.. no matter what language they spoken, I do understand it.
"Fiza~", the specky-blonde-with-nice-smile teacher calling my name. And I looked at her as she sit beside me in a very friendly way. We make one group of 5 people. I don't move but they come to me.
"Do you want to make a penguin by using this toiler-paper-roll?", she asked me while showing the paper-toiler-roll to me. I guess no matter what she showing me, I don't give it a damn. I wish I could asked her, "What the hell is that roll?", "What is a penguin?", "Why am I doing here??", but I just can't. And she showed me the complete penguin-toilet-paper-roll. I looked at her with a how-difficult-to-do-the-penguin-with-paper-toilet-roll face and hopefully she understand me.
"Nevermind. I show you first.", she do the cut, glued and colour it as I watched her with a fully concentration and interested.
"Tadaaaa~ Its for you.", she handed me the straight-body-cut penguin and I smiled.
I kept the penguin in my drawer. Each of the student been given a drawer where we keep our belonging and whatever art we done, we stored it there. Well, we cannot bring it home until the end of the year.
The next day, I learned to draw with a watercolour. I love drawing. We been given a drawing board and a drawing apron. I drew a double-storey house with a nice blue car in front it, an apple tree beside it and a happy stick-people family with a cloud above and a bunch of bird flying around. I smiled and happy with my drawing. I can't wait to bring it home to showed to Abah and Mak. Suddenly, there were this one cunning-black-hair little girl come to me.
"I want this drawing..", obviously she pointed it to my drawing. I looked at her with a this-is-my-drawing face and she went away.
I do feel insecure of my own drawing. So, as far as I remembered, I wrote my name behind the drawing. But now I am curious whether during that time can I even spell my own name?
During the break time, we been given two damn-delicious-nice biscuits and a glass of milk. I don't drink milk. I means, Mak always give me a chocolate-color drink and for me, the white drink doesn't have any taste. So, during the break time, I just took the biscuits and left the milk. And one fine day, Falik realize about my dont-drink-milk behaviour. And he who's sat in front of me at the dining table, come across the table to sit beside me.
"Kau tak minum susu ni ek?", he asked me.
I shook my head.
"Kalau camtu, aku minum hari-hari boleh?", he asked me with a hope.
I nodded and finished off my biscuits before he asked about it.
I don't know how I went through for the whole year at the Kindergarten but its end of the year already. All the student just sit and played while waiting for their parent to take them off. I sit in a corner while watching all student and their parent past by. I waited for mine patiently. I just can't wait to show Mak and Abah all of my creative creation.
Then, I saw the cunning-black-hair little girl which asking for my drawing. Her parent was there to take her home. She make a satisfied-girly smiled at me. As I studied her satisfied-girly-smile-kind of behaviour, I saw my drawing in her hand. I know very well it is my drawing. I make a shock face to her and now she makes more of her satisfied-bitch-killing smile to me and she went home. I just stood still without even dare to move to get back my precious.
After a long wait, Abah come to pick me home. I went to my drawer and took all my stuff. And obviously, I lost my precious drawing. We heading home and Mak greet me as she never seen me before. She looked happy, maybe because I bought so many my-own-art creation home but she never know that I lost one. I tried to explain to them.
"There's a girl in school.. she stole my drawing.. I know she want my drawing crazily.. but i just couldn't get the picture because she had her father with her, while I am all alone by myself.. bla bla bla bla..", I explain to Abah and Mak but they don't understand me because I spoke my own language.
p/s: I want my precious back!!
.: from left - Falik, me and wanie :.
.: A family without the last.. a red polka-dot? nice huh? :.
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